Sometimes there are moments in life when you to mourn. Loss isn’t something that we inherently know how to cope with, nor is it something that can be taught beyond physical reaction. How am I supposed to feel? Am I feeling too much? Am I not feeling at all? How are others feeling? Until you realise how powerful it is that you can feel, and you just sort of stop for a second and let that sink in. How does one deal with grief? It’s not something readily understood, even by soldiers who have fought a thousand battles– it will always be hard. Are we to express our grievances every day at every moment because how dare you continue living, continue feeling. But that’s not practical or productive, but that mindset is not respectful. I want to say that I’m strong, I want to be able to think of fond memories, but I keep finding myself drowning in regret. I notice now, I want to talk now, I want to be there now. But I’m just too late.